Karmas a comin’…cover your arse. September 29, 2009

I’ve been told many times that I need to learn to be a little more understanding.  A little more sympathetic.  More accepting. 

So, when the baby daddy, (we’ll call him “R”),  shows up on my door step asking if he could come and spend some time with our sick kid, I agreed.  I couldn’t deny him seeing her, and since she was basically quarantined in the house for 5 days due to the flu, I allowed it.  Besides, I’d rather give him the flu than my mom. 

Anyway, as “R” sat, I cooked breakfast…then lunch.  And as he watched Bill Dance Outdoors and Fishing, I washed clothes and aired out the house.  As he watched Rocky 1,2,3, and 4, I cleaned.  I noticed he was especially quiet-but I didn’t want to ask, because honestly,  I didn’t want to know.   His being here made my baby happy-even though she was sick-so I didn’t say anything. 

Then he opened his mouth and what came out shocked the hell out of me.  “How do you do it, Jeanette?” he asked.  Thinking he was talking about living on my own and struggling financially, I replied, “I just take it one day at a time.  And if I can’t do something, I don’t do it.  It’s simple.  It’s hard, and it sucks, but it’s simple.”  He said, “I have been doing that and it’s not any easier.”  Still thinking he was talking about money, I said, “But you got your boat…and that should make you happy, right?”   Then he said, “It’s almost been a year, you know?”  “A year of what?” I asked.  “My divorce.”

I stared at him for what seemed like the longest, most awkward moments. 

Could he really be upset that he’s been divorced for a year?  SERIOUSLY?!?!

A little background:  After 10 exhausting, frustrating, and miserable years, “R” and his ex-girl, we’ll call her “B”,  finally made it official and got the divorce finalized.   Anyone that knew them thought it needed to happen sooner (actually everyone agreed that the marriage should have never happened in the first place because of their turbulent relationship.  We all knew that she was not marring him for the same reason he was marring her-if you get what I mean), and everyone thought it would never happen because he was too lazy to take care of business, and when things got hard he quit, and because she is a selfish bitch.  There is no other explanation for her.  Just trust me. 

So when he seemed utterly upset that in the span of the next 20 or so days would mark the 1 year anniversary of what should be the happiest day of his life after the birth of his kids, it shocked me.  He was actually sulking.  Sad.  And it disgusted me. 

I responded to his comment about it being almost a year to his divorce with, “Whoo Hoo!  Congrats-you should be celebrating!  Isn’t this what you wanted?”  Apparently he doesn’t know what he wants.  Or he does, and has just realized that it sucks being the one on the other side of the fence.  See, “B”  has actually found a new poor old sap’s life to ruin, and “R” is actually upset about it.  I wanted to slap the shit out of him right out my front door.

Did he forget all the hell “B” has put him through?  He must have forgotten how she looked when he walked in and saw her passed out next to a guy in underwear that morning?  He must have forgotten all the debts he had to bail her out of?  He must have forgotten how it feels to be called a “no-good, piece of shit dad” every day?  He must have fallen and bumped his head, because surely he would remember their first Christmas as a married couple when she bought my kid 1 gift, and filled the bottom of the tree with other gifts for her girl…and he definitely must have forgotten what it felt like to watch our daughter watch her younger sister (their daughter together) open all the gifts Santa had left her younger sister-while clutching the one doll that Santa left for her?

He MUST have forgotten that he made that bed.  That he jumped the fence a long time ago to mow the yard of what he thought was greener grass.  He MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN that when you start a relationship with deceit and lies, nothing good comes from it. 

Needless to say, this day is not my day to be more understanding.  Not my turn to be more sympathetic.  I’ll skip being more accepting.  Not this time. 

Hey, baby daddy-Cover your arse…Karma’s a bitch.